Once upon a time there was a princess who ruled a tiny principality in Europe named Fred. Fred was a beautiful nation, famed throughout the region for its apple orchards. But the princess was bored and lonely. She spent all day doing important government work, and although she got on quite well with her officials and assistants and employees and body guard, at the end of the day she had no one to hang out with besides her pet snake, Jackson.
After a long week of tax forms, she had finally had enough.
"Fuck this noise!!" she cried, pushing her chair back violently.
The princess and her bodyguard high-tailed it down to the local pub for lager and sandwiches. As they sat there, joking with the bartender and generally having a grand old time, she realized that her bodyguard was an awesome person to hang out with. Why hadn't she ever asked him to go have dinner before? Or to come over and play video games on Saturday afternoons? She had always assumed that after spending all day with her at work, he would enjoy some time to himself. But then she realized that he was a grown-ass man and a gentleman and would have politely turned her down if he wanted some time to himself.
With that, the princess vowed to be more open to the people around her. Maybe the reason no one ever asked her to hang out was because *they* had assumed she was already busy. Maybe it was because she had never really taken the time to get to know the people around her.
With that, the princess cried out, "Shots for everyone!"
And they all lived drunkenly ever after, till they woke up in the morning with wicked bad hangovers. But that was okay. Because it had been a grand old time, and there were many more to come.
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