Getting Dressed

My mom got me this awesome new wrap skirt at a clothing swap. It's silk and dark green with polka dots and it's super pretty. It's also super snug on me. I didn't think I would be able to zip it up, which just goes to show you should always try to zip something up anyway because sometimes it works. Dark magic is a girl's best friend.

Hips: Tight skirt, my old nemesis! We meet again.
Tight Skirt: YOU'LL NEVER GET INSIDE ME
Hips: That's what you think, buddy! I'm gonna shimmy and squeeze and my friend Tummy is going to suck in and then we'll just see who's gonna get inside of who.
Tight Skirt: This...this can't be happening! It's impossible!
Hips: Oh it's possible alright. Through the magic of determination and sheer brute force!
Tight Skirt: OH GOD MY SEAMS
Hips: I...I can't sit down! Can I? Okay maybe I can. Let's just take this one step at a time.
Tight Skirt: You've won this time, Hips. But I'll be back...rest assured, I'll be back.


Sometimes getting dressed in the morning is an epic battle to the death full of weird, strangely sexual imagery.

And sometimes you like it that way.